Going out with a bang is, of course, everything right now: Shimmer powder, major eyeliner, Fendi baguettes . . . But given the possibility that the morning after might very well involve total world chaos and the utter destruction of life as we know it, it’s best to be prepared. Water, Coleman lanterns, and the odd firearm are all well and good, but there are a few basics that really, no one can be without. Here, the editors at beautyscene have raided the stockroom, and come up with the items we simply must have—come hell or high water—in our chic, fully furnished Y2K bunkers.
Sunscreen and moisturizer—in one, conveniently, in Peter Thomas Roth’s genius Daily Defense Cream—are simply the number one requirement, particularly if the ozone hole happens to widen any. Tea tree oil—the lavender-infused version from Tea Tree Essentials—smells good instead of horrific, a major advance—heals any minor wounds, including (most importantly) acne. Beyond that, I’ll hoard my Karite leave-in conditioner from Rene Furterer down to the last drop, rationing my good hair days like so many high-protein food bars.
Getting up to speed on the new, non-Y2K-compliant world will doubtlessly leave me more haggard than I am now (or perhaps it will immediately enforce a simpler, less-stressful life and we’ll all look fabulous), necessitating Valerie Bevery Hills Hocus Pocus concealer (applied with a brush, pat to blend), along with black mascara and Nude lipstick from Shu Uemura.
My private theory on nails in general and pedicures specifically is that we love them because they create a sense of visual order, right there on our bodies—so I’ll be needing a pedicure, should global pandemonium actually ensue: Matador from Delux.
Bunker or no bunker, no reason to let standards slip, so I’m stocking up with Tweezerman’s manicure and pedicure kit to keep my feet and fingers fab well into the next millennium. If I can’t take Dr. Fredric Brandt to ensure eternal youth, (See Diary of a Beauty Junkie and Ask the Experts), then in goes Brandt “c” créme. I need a decadent pot of Valerie’s Fairy Dust in Banana to keep my complexion glowing, as well as the pearly cappuccino-colored Glamour Puss eye color from Too Faced. I’m also popping in the perfect golden pink wet/dry eye shadow from Facewear called Shag, simply because I probably won’t be getting any in my bunker. Of course, when my Y2K shelter is raided and six beefy rescue workers fight their way in to rescue me, my lipstick will need to be flawless. Liberated lip color from Tony and Tina smells divine, and is the perfect vibrant pink for lips to thank everyone profusely with. Keeping my spirits up, should my energy levels flag, will be B. Bloom’s Hydrating Body Mist in Energy, possibly the most delicious-smelling fruity spray known to mankind.
Bryan Van Gorder
Nero played his fiddle; I plan to draw a bath. After all, being locked in a bunker doesn’t seem quite so bad with a tubful of hot water, a few scoops of fizzing B. Bloom Tub Tonic in chamomile-scented Tranquility, and a good-looking friend. The downfall of civilization is sure to leave us a little grimy, so I’ve added Bloom extra citrusy-smelling Soapy & Suave vegetable soap and Ligne St. Barth’s pure plant extract shower gel. Also tubside: j.f lazartigue treatment cream shampoo with collagen, which works miracles on damaged and dry hair (as if Armageddon is going to leave anyone’s hair healthy and shiny.) Finally, so I don’t emerge from my bunker looking like Rip Van Winkle, I’ve stocked up on Weleda Shaving Cream (all-natural, sexy scent, manly blue tube) and California North After Shave Care (soothes razor burn and moisturizes skin.)
If the world is coming to an end, we can’t count on electricity. The cucumber candle from Illume smells delicious, and besides: Small, cramped spaces always look better in candlelight.
No matter the circumstances, I need Tea Tree Solutions’ lip balm, with organically grown tea tree oil, which keeps lips baby soft, and soothes minor cuts and scrapes. Valerie Beverly Hills newest face kit in Blonde is a palette of ten, interchangeable shades that can be used on eyes, brows, and cheeks: It doesn’t get much simpler than that.
And at the end of the day in my new, modest dwellings, I’ll slip into a warming, jasmine-scented bubble bath filled with Tony & Tina Love Boost (which also doubles as a shower gel), and rest my tired eyes beneath two DuWop igels—genius, jiggly, Jello-like, scented eye compresses that conform perfectly to your eye to reduce puffiness, while extracts of lavender and tangerine calm your nerves.
No matter how dire the millennial conditions, my hair still has to be soft, shiny and fabulous. Laurent D’s lightcitrus-scented Doucer Shampoo and rich, almond oil-infused Instant Conditioner are my habit-forming weapons of choice. They wash out in seconds flat and leave hair with that silky, just-went-to-the-salon feeling. Yon-Ka’s Phyto-Gel Exfoliant—a bright blue, jojoba pearl-infused foaming gel—is both invigorating (for the morning after) and incredibly moisturizing.
Partial to that healthy, unmade-up look, I have to include Peter Thomas Roth’s Glycolic Acid 10% Hydrating Gel—this clear, silky concoction delivers a hefty dose of vitamins A, C, E (and other miraculous anti-oxidants) that works to undo accumulated sun damage, rendering skin flawless and foundation utterly unnecessary.
Last come my favorite not-too-sheer, not-too-bold lip glosses from Bloom. A rich, tawny-beige, Pout is perfect for day, and Pucker—that “just right” shade of brownish-berry that looks great on everyone—will make me feel polished and glamorous, even if the end is near.
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